Sex and the City is LOTR for Girls, boring

I was part of a conversation recently where a comparison was made between Sex and the City movies and Lord of the Rings trilogy. Basically the idea was “Sex and the City is like the lord of the rings for girls!” This is insane to me. Here are two lists, the first list shows all the reasons lord of the rings is awesome. The second list shows all the reasons why sex and the city is awful.

Why LOTR is awesome:
1. Lord of the rings is a timeless trilogy of novels penned by an amazing writer.
2. The scene where Gandalf fights the Balrog, put this on in HD with surround sound. It will change your whole life.
3. Hobbits!!!!
4. Mountain Trolls.
5. Blibo’s eleventy-first birthday, yes, eleventy first, complete with a fireworks dragon.
6. Liv Tyler.

Why Sex in the City is terrible:
1. Sex and the City is based on a television show, which was based on a book, which was based on my own personal hell.
2. Sex and the City is not an epic, awesome trilogy.
3. Sex and the City is about a stuck up, annoying old lady who is rich for some reason.
4. Sex and the City features ZERO awesomeness.
5. Kim Cattrall, I’m sure she was awesome when she was alive.
6. Big’s name was John, his name was freaking John the whole time. Why not have Sarah Jessica Parker wake up at the end and realize it was “All a terrible dream!” I wish I could…

The only similarity between the two is that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like Gollum, crossed with a horse wearing a wig. Zing.

Update! An exciting artist rendition has been created!